When you’re asked about your accomplishments, you immediately feel good, right?
You feel a sense of pride and self-esteem. But when asked about your failures, you get a sick feeling in your stomach, your mood plummets, you feel worthless and incapable… If you grew up being told that you can’t do something “because…” or that you are “not as smart, pretty, talented, strong as…” – your self-esteem will be damaged.
You’re not alone. All of us have diminished self-esteem to some degree!
But we were not born this way! No baby is born believing, “I’m not good enough!” That belief develops when people do things and say words that we interpret as happening because we aren’t as important, good, worthy, etc. as others. Then we beat ourselves up, reminding ourselves constantly of our screw-ups.
This incessant self-criticism pummels our self-esteem.
Imagine what your life would be like if you never thought, “I’m not good enough.” You wouldn’t hesitate to take opportunities, ask for promotions, try your hardest and say yes to every challenge! Imagine if circumstances couldn’t shake your confidence! What would you be doing right now?
People who have high self-esteem have a high, positive vibe. They are healthier, more energetic, popular, happy and productive. They get what they want, don’t they?
And you can turn things around. Increasing your self-esteem raises your vibration, and gives you self-dominion or the ability to get yourself to do what you want to do, especially the things that intimidate you most. You become disciplined and take action, building your trust in yourself as you listen to your intuition and do everything with integrity and commitment; and your self-esteem rises as you see results.
Getting your self-esteem back takes action. You can’t sit there and wish you felt worthy. You have to make it happen – inside.
1. Get Rolling
Start by doing one thing that builds momentum. Momentum creates the positive energy of accomplishment that fuels action in other areas.
What gets you rolling?
Any small action with fast positive feedback. Start with a small success, and IMMEDIATELY move on to doing something else, while your energy is high and positive and before you lose momentum. It feels good, and squelches your procrastination habit (a self-esteem killer).
2. Use Your Imagination
Connect with your spirit guides (learn how in the Love or Above Spiritual Toolkit). Imagine them giving you what you need most right now… a boost of confidence, energy, an object, guidance, an idea… and see yourself confidently using this gift to do something you are afraid to do.
What are you doing with this gift? What is your body language saying? What are you feeling? How are you interacting with others?
Isn’t it marvelously helpful to have this gift and visualize success?
3. Do Something Everyday That Scares You
It doesn’t have to be huge; do anything that you have hesitated to do before. Make yourself do things a couple of times to desensitize yourself. Acquire skills and rehearse beforehand.
Are you intimidated by talking to people at parties? Do it more! Rehearse a few conversation starters and use them.
4. Do Things You’re Good at and Love
What makes you happy?
Reinforce your positives – abilities, strengths and talents – for a daily dose of self-esteem.
5. Help Others
When you’re busy helping other people, you don’t have time to think about how incompetent or unworthy you are. Because you aren’t those things! Teach someone, do something kind, help them feel good about themselves, or simply get them to smile.
6. Set a Few Achievable but Challenging Goals
Set goals in areas where you don’t feel 100% awesome about yourself: wealth, health, relationships or career/purpose. Make a plan with clearly defined steps that break big goals down into small daily actions that decrease overwhelm and increase confidence.
Work on boosting one area; for example, learn to manage your finances. The boost in self-esteem in the wealth area has repercussions: you’ll be happier, and your relationships will improve; you’ll be confident and more inclined to take on challenginges; and you’ll be less stressed, translating to good health. Goals in any area support others!
7. Be Grateful
Gratitude teaches you to appreciate the abundance in your life – even if you don’t have financial abundance, you possess a wealth of life lessons to draw on; how can you use those lessons to improve your life today?
8. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People
Easier said than done… but why seek comparisons?
If you were the only person in the world, you would not have low self-esteem because there would be no one to compare yourself to. So don’t worry what other people are doing or thinking. They think a whole lot LESS about you than you might imagine – they’re too wrapped up in their own lives!
March to your own drummer, at your own pace, to the best of your ability, and love who you are! Read inspirational stories of regular people doing extraordinary things just to drill it into your head that you CAN do more than you believe you can.
9. Use Positive, Helpful Self-Talk
Avoid affirmations that you feel are untrue (such as, “I am successful and wealthy” if you’re barely making rent). It won’t work.
Instead, focus on action: “I am doing my best, with integrity, with the intention of serving others. I know that abundance is coming my way.”
10. Get Positive Responses
In all situations (even the unpleasant ones), try to get a “yes,” a smile, or cooperation. How? Smile; see the person’s point of view; ask, don’t demand; be grateful for everything. The more positive responses you get, the better you’ll feel about yourself!
11. Use Energy Clearing to Clear Negative Energy of the Past
Let go, and unleash the authentic you! Learn more about energy clearing in the Love or Above Spiritual Toolkit.
It took a long time to develop low self-esteem. So reverse the process, step by step, and feel yourself improve every day!