If you’ve ever blown your top, flown off the handle, lost it or stewed about anything, you know how you felt afterward.
No matter who was at fault, no matter the outcome, you are still left with a very unpleasant feeling because of the outburst.
And if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a tantrum, you aren’t left feeling exactly happy either.
If you’ve ever had a thought that brought about sadness or anger, and you kept thinking that thought, you know how you can spiral down into depression really, really fast.
It can be the smallest trigger.
Unchecked, the thoughts and emotions can absolutely destroy any good mood you may have been in. Over time this can become so common that it seems normal.
Just ask anyone going through a divorce or grieving the loss of a loved one – after a while, crying becomes part of who you are and it’s a tough place to escape.
If you’ve ever worried about something you know how stressed and anxious it makes you feel. It can be hard to let go of the temptation to obsess about a problem like a dog gnawing on a bone.
It’s so easy to let your mind just run with it – but the thoughts and emotions feed on themselves becoming stronger and stronger until they consume you.
Losing your temper, sinking into depression and worrying all contribute to an unhappy life. They cause even more stress, they ruin your health, you don’t have a moment’s peace from your emotions and your whole outlook on life can sour.
Don’t forget, too, that negative emotions have a very strong effect on your personal vibration! People pick up on it subconsciously, and you’ll have a harder time keeping friends, closing deals and functioning normally in society if your vibration is very low.
Controlling Your Emotions
Reversing a downward spiral takes a bit of effort, and a little time.
But you can do it.
All the effort you put into controlling emotions will give you a sunnier outlook on life and teach you that you have a choice to feel good or not.
You can take charge and control your emotions by following these simple steps.
There is something absolutely magical about a smile.
Try this for yourself – next time you are feeling blue, or red-hot with anger, smile.
Just force a smile onto your face. Did you know:
It is physiologically impossible to have bad feelings if you are smiling
I realize it sounds a bit silly but seriously, try it. It really works.
If you wake up sad, stressed or angry, smile at yourself in the mirror first thing in the morning.
Just stand there and smile at yourself.
Make yourself do it even if you don’t want to. Hold that smile until it’s genuine. Hold that smile until… You know what will happen? You’re going to burst out laughing whether you want to or not!
Any time you feel bad, just smile. A smile that is genuine lights you up. It’s a physical action so in harmony with Love that it can’t help but make you feel better!
Check out this video of the Dalai Lama below.
Meditation helps you control your emotions because it takes your focus away from them.
It’s not denial – it’s a shift of focus.
If you insist on being grumpy, you can always return to being grumpy when you’re done meditating.
But why would you? F
eeling good is so much nicer!
Sometimes the best way to accomplish something is to do nothing. In this case, just ‘being’ is enough to shift your mood. You can do a quick meditation anytime you need to calm yourself.
Close your eyes and focus on your breathing for as long as it takes you to calm down. Feel the inhale and exhale; count your breaths if you like. Do whatever it takes to keep your focus on your breath and off the situation at hand.
That’s all there is to it! This little time out will give you time to gather your thoughts and perhaps see the situation in a different light.
3. Give it a minute and a half
Give it a minute and a half.
When a negative emotion hits you, be aware that it takes just 90 seconds for it to pass through your system.
From the time your limbic system generates the emotion to the time that chemical reaction dissipates, is a minute and a half.
If you simply feel the emotion – and do get get involved in the thought that generated it by repeating “I feel (angry, sad, etc.)” - it will pass and you’ll regain your equilibrium. Don’t say “I AM (angry, sad, etc.).”
You are not your emotions!
Try that, next time you have a sad or upsetting thought. Repeat to yourself how you are feeling but don’t allow yourself to stray from that focus. Don’t think about what made you upset. Feel the feeling and let it go.
Pretty cool stuff!
Of course you want to hop on the bus of happy thoughts – you can never get too much of feeling good! Just avoid the ones that make you feel bad. Let the feeling pass and turn your thoughts to something more pleasing.
4. Do what you love
When you’re immersed in some activity you’re passionate about, and you’re really focused on what you’re doing, you can’t feel bad.
You just can’t.
Doing what you love uplifts you in so many ways!
Do it, and do it often.
You’ll be generally happier and more able to cope with life’s monkey wrenches when your life is meaningful and when you are doing what you love.
Emotions can rule your life – or you can control them. It’s worthwhile learning to control them, just so you can respond rationally in tough situations, and not allow your thoughts to drag you down into despair and depression.
It’s a much lovelier life when you’re in control!