Keeping Desire In A Long-Term Relationship
Can we want what we already have?
Many of us experience a dip in desire when we settle into a long-term relationship. We might even think because of this that time makes passion disappear — but we can bring back that honeymoon state to our long-term relationships.
In this 20-minute video from TED Talks, sexual genius and couples therapist Esther Perel points out that for the first time in history, we can root our relationships in desire. In the past, marriages have been about economic partnership. Nowadays, long-term relationships are about so much more...
We now want our partner to offer us both predictability and surprise, security and adventure, comfort and edge.
So the million-dollar question is, how do we reconcile the contradictory needs?
Highlights from the video include:
(5:15) — The two revealing answers about desire that are the same across culture, religion and gender;
(8:35) — How to use novelty in a way that helps your long-term relationship (hint: it's not just about lingerie);
(14:20) — The 3 responses we have to an overburdened relationship;
(17:47) — What people in great romantic relationships know about passion and spontaneity.
Watch the video to find out how to revamp desire and maintain stability in your relationship.
How do you keep the romance in your relationship? Share in the comments below.