The world is full of endless opportunities and it may seem like those opportunities just pass you by, especially on how to be more confident. That’s how it may seem, but more than likely, that isn't what’s going on. Instead, what if you discovered that the opportunities weren’t passing you by, but you were actually stopping yourself from taking them?
Having low confidence can prevent you from being able to jump aboard the opportunities that present themselves to you. If you don’t feel good enough or smart enough or “whatever” enough to take an opportunity, you’ll certainly never be able to reap the rewards of success or learn the lessons of failure.
Most people think that confidence comes from becoming successful and achieving desired results. That’s totally backwards! In fact, increasing your confidence and improving your self-esteem actually makes you more likely to succeed!
Confidence = Success
“In order to carry a positive action, we must develop here a positive vision."
- Dalai Lama
Positivity does not create itself; you have to create it and nurture it. This means positivity in every aspect of your life. When you are positive that you are good enough, you then become good enough. That seems oversimplified, but in reality - confidence is simple.
It doesn’t appear simple, because it feels difficult. It feels difficult because your low self-esteem is rooted in negative beliefs about yourself. Once you begin to practice compassion with yourself and others, you will see that those false, limiting beliefs are keeping you from the success and happiness you deserve.
Becoming more confident is simply a matter of shifting your perspective and finding the positivity in each of your limitations. When you find that positivity, you will see opportunities in front of you that you never saw before. Confidence opens your eyes and gives you the courage to take action.
7 Actions on How to be Confident
Below are a few actions you can take to open the path of courage and inspire you to be confident in your capacity as a valuable human being. These are in no particular order. You may find some are more terrifying than the others; begin with those.
1. Look the Part
The exterior is a window to the interior. It doesn’t take long for inner feelings of worthlessness to manifest themselves in shaggy clothes, unshaven stubbles and poor hygiene habits. Have you ever heard the phrase, “Fake it till’ you make it?” Sometimes, simply looking the part of a confident person can prove to you that you are worthy of attention, affection and admiration. Besides, looking great, feels great and even if you don’t think you deserve to feel good, the truth is - you do!
2. Touch up that Self-Image
It is a known fact that we will often risk bodily harm and embarrassment to save our self-image. Since self-image is so important to confidence, try practicing a little self-image grooming. Change a thought like “I am such a jerk” to something like “I have been a jerk, but that’s all changed because…” and finish with a worthy affirmation. Do this for each negative notion you think about yourself - do it every day and soon you will change your world by changing how you think about yourself.
3. Think Positive Thoughts
“Tell me how you think and feel about yourself, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
Truer words have never been spoken. It is a destructive habit, but we can play an endless loop of negative self-talk in our minds. . The good news is, every thought can be easily transformed. All you have to do is exchange your negative thoughts for positive ones.
For example, “I’ll never be good enough” transforms to “I am good enough and I can be even better.”
4. Squash Negativity
To properly practice the last point, you will need to be aware of those negative thoughts.Negativity is all around us and you can’t open your eyes without being reminded of your inadequacy in the face of a boundless universe. However, recognizing the subtle signs of a negative thought pattern is the first step in undoing it. When faced with a negative thought, throw your mental strength against it.. Gather all of your energy and squash the negative thoughts! Soon enough, you will notice those thoughts slowly diminish.
5. Know Yourself
Sun Tzu, the military genius accredited with the Art of War, said it is imperative that a general know himself and his enemy, then he will not fear defeat. In the struggle for confidence there is a side of you that is playing for your enemy. You must fully know yourself if you hope to have a victory over this destructive side that seems to trip you up at every corner. Take notes on how you feel and what you think. Many of the negative thoughts we have about ourselves can be traced back to the most innocuous events and careless remarks. The mind can blow these events out of proportion leaving you limited by apparent inadequacies. Take time to analyze the veracity of your fears and you may find they were all just in your head.
6. Fake It Till’ You Make It!
This is worth repeating! Not only is “dressing” the part important, acting the part is even more critical. That’s right, acting how you feel will only encourage that feeling. Try it on a morning when you are feelings depressed.Make a commitment to smile and greet your acquaintances warmly and kindly.You may feel like a fake, but you certainly won’t be at the mercy of your feelings. When you choose to take control of your actions, regardless of how you feel, you are merely choosing not to respond to negative feelings. You are choosing to empower yourself and not your negative beliefs about yourself..
7. Be Kind and Generous
Sometimes, it is easier to show compassion to others, than it is to show compassion to ourselves. When you consciously choose to be kind and generous to others, you are practicing the actions you should also be giving to yourself. Confident people treat themselves fairly. They see their needs as equal to those of others. Prideful people put their needs above others. Those with low self esteem often put other’s needs in front of their own. As you practice kindness and generosity, take note and tell yourself, “I deserve this kindness too.” The reality is - everyone is deserving of compassion and kindness - even you.